Uncle Bob, what's wrong with you?
You shouldn't be doing these things with your favorite nephew
You take me down into the basement before school
I'm always nervous but you tell me its what all kids do
Lay me down on the table, said "be cool"
But, "Uncle Bob, whatcha doin with that pool cue??"

Is this the way family should treat each other?
And if it is why don't you go fuck my brother?
You are the creepy one that they tell me not to talk to
But you're my favorite uncle, that's why I love you

Uncle Bob, I'm not a kid anymore
But, I'd miss your little visits so I won't lock my door
Sometimes I wonder, what made you pick me
But its alright as we make out under the family tree

There's no love like your family gives
So why bother to have a girlfriend instead
I'm sure some girls are nice
But, my uncle gives great head!

Is this the way family should treat each other?
And if it is why don't you go fuck my brother?
You are the creepy one that they tell me not to talk to
But you're my favorite uncle, that's why I love you